This Grief Awareness Day, we want to hold space for those who may be going through a tough time and share helpful techniques for coping with grief. This blog will break down types of grief, self care practices, and community resources. We hope to equip you with the tools to better support those in your life!
Understanding Grief
Grief is defined as a natural response following the loss of someone or something significant. Typically, we may think this only applies to the death of a loved one. However, grief can apply to a variety of situations such as a divorce, miscarriage, job layoff, or terminal illness. Some losses might carry more weight, while others are not as prevalent. People can also process the same loss differently. For some, they may grieve openly. Others may appear less expressive, holding intense feelings on the inside.
Types of Grief
You probably have heard of the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. While these emotions are usually associated with grief, we do not always experience them in a linear way. You can feel a mix of emotions or even more nuanced feelings. It is important to acknowledge that people grieve differently, and all types of grieving are valid. Let’s talk about four common types of grief!
Abrupt Grief
Grieving that occurs during a sudden or unexpected loss, such as due to an accident or illness, is considered abrupt. The shock can be overwhelming, leaving the individual feeling numb or in disbelief. An example could include receiving a call that a loved one had been killed in a recent car crash.
Prolonged Grief
Long-term or prolonged grief is a constant experience in one’s life. If you have experienced the death of a parent or sibling, for example, this loss could affect you for an extended period. It is normal to often think of the deceased person and have vivid thoughts or memories of them. You may have an easier time adjusting to the loss over time; however, certain triggers may still affect you.
Absent Grief
After experiencing a loss, some might find their grief is absent or not as present. One example could be the death of a distant relative. You may encounter feelings of numbness or apathy. It might appear to others that you are coping well, but it could be that you are internalizing your feelings. Some people may not even realize they are going through a grieving process. This type of grief can resurface in unexpected ways like in the form of angry outbursts, crying spells, or panic attacks.
Delayed Grief
This next type doesn’t appear immediately after a loss; it may build up over time and emerge later. When it catches up to you, it can also feel as intense as the day the loss occurred. Many people in survival mode often use dissociation as a coping mechanism to avoid more difficult aspects of life. For instance, a child who has endured a traumatic loss might not completely understand or process their emotions until they reach adulthood.
Collective Grief
Grief is not always an individual experience. A group can have shared trauma following a tragic event, like survivors of Sandy Hook for example. Another instance of collective grief is after the death of a public figure or local leader. Some examples of losses that were deeply felt include Michael Jackson, Selena, Kobe Bryant, Carrier Fisher, and Chadwick Boseman.
Youth in Grief
When you think about those who experience grief, you might first think of adults. However, it is crucial to understand that youth can also be affected.
According to the National Alliance for Children’s Grief, an estimated 6 million children in the U.S. will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18. Unlike their adult counterparts, young children may struggle to understand or express their emotions. It can be hard to vocalize their feelings, so some may exhibit behaviors such as withdrawal, anger, or even regression to earlier developmental stages. These responses are their way of processing overwhelming emotions. This can be difficult for parents and caregivers to navigate. However, it can help to be aware of these signs for preventative care.
Supporting those in Grief
It can be difficult to offer support to a loved one who is grieving, especially as each person’s needs are unique. There are key ways that you can provide comfort and understanding.
Self-Care Practices
Grieving takes a significant toll on both the mind and body. Daily self-care can help sustain you through the grieving process.
- Physical Health: Our immune system can weaken when we stop taking care of ourselves. Regular exercise, proper sleep, and healthy nutrition are important to help reduce fatigue and headaches.
- Mental Health: Your well-being matters. Journaling or meditation can minimize the risk of depression or anxiety.
- Creative Expression: Writing, painting, and music can be meaningful outlets that offer a way to process emotions that might be difficult to express in words.
- Hobbies: Find activities that make you happy! Having a hobby that you enjoy is a great way to prevent yourself from feeling down and can uplift your spirits.
Try using this self-care plan template from the National Council of Wellbeing to help you brainstorm different ways you can practice mindfulness in your life.
Journey Toward Healing
Healing is a personal and unique journey. You might have days when you feel like you’re moving forward, only to be overwhelmed by memories or feelings that bring you back to a place you were before. Recognizing these fluctuations as part of the process can help reduce self-blame or frustration. It is important to allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise and to take time to process your feelings.
- Embrace a New Normal: Adjusting to life after a loss can be difficult. This new normal might be different from what you are used to. It might help to build a new schedule or a consistent routine to create stability and bring back some control in your life.
- Seek Support: Reach out to others for reassurance and communicate your needs. It can be helpful to join a specific support group to validate your feelings. After a loved one dies from suicide, for example, you may want to connect with others who have endured a similar trauma.
- Find Meaning: Take time to process your grief and find meaning from your experience. Try to find ways to honor the memory of a loved one. You might also consider starting a charity or advocating for a cause. This personal growth allows you to reflect on the lessons you have learned from your healing.
Grief Resources
- The Compassionate Friends – offers resources, such as support groups, online communities, hotlines, and funeral services for families grieving the loss of a child or other family member.
- What’s Your Grief – highlights resources for understanding grief, guidance on how to help someone through online courses, and training for aspiring grief counselors
- Grow Therapy – includes access to personalized, low-cost therapy options that aligns with your preferences
- Mental Health America – emphasizes trusted research, mental health education, advocacy, and direct service.
- Hope for Depression Research Foundation – shares neuroscience research for depression and other mood disorders
- The Guidance Center – provides hope and healing for disadvantaged youth
As advocates for youth mental health, we should normalize talking about grief and foster safe spaces. Compassion goes a long way. We acknowledge that everyone experiences grief on their own timeline and healing is not always a linear process. Lean on your support systems and develop healthy coping mechanisms to build resilience.